jasonderoga86 | Entries tagged with sadness

Just heard about this, and it's doubly sad that Garr was struggling from multiple sclerosis. Garr was another actress in the old favorite, "Friends", and she had kept positive in the face of such a terrifying diagnosis.

Current Mood: sad

Breaking News (at least, for me): according to aggregate crime tracker Neighborhood Scout, as of right now Oakland -- my home city, where I was born -- is essentially the most dangerous city in America, with a violent ctime rate almost FOUR TIMES higher than the national average the it makes safer than ZERO PERCENT of U.S. neighborhoods.

My friends are begging me to go party with them for a close friend's birthday. But I'm just paralyzed here. My local Kaiser Permanente is no longer safe; a person can go there to get health care and end up in the emergency room with grievous (or possibly fatal) injuries these days. Our DA refuses to charge juveniles convicted of seriously violent crimes (i.e., armed burglaries, armed carjackings... all at the ages of 13 to 14 years) as adults. Our Mayor keeps giving us promises she knows she can't keep. Several restaurants have permanently closed their doors after being in business ranging from 25 to 54 years.

And we only JUST NOW got our new police chief. How is that supposed to address the rise of criminals who're now so bold and eager to commit violent crimes due to TWO YEARS of crimes surges due to the lack of sufficient law enforcement?!

And we're still forced to go to our jobs to make money to pay taxes to this state, even if by doing so we might not come back home to our families safely -- or even at all.

I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of public officials asking so much of us civilians while they feel no obligation to reciprocate with more safe neighborhoods. We've done enough. They need to get off their asses and DO THEIR JOBS, rather than put blatantly unrealistic expectations on us because they're not up to the task. That's how it's supposed to work.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Music: Paul Hardcastle, "Rainforest"

I guess it's because Colorado's a red state. The treasonous act was clear as day. Everyone saw it. And I mean everyone. As in, THE WHOLE WORLD. So much that it inspired insurrectionists in Brazil to try their hand at throwing rules, laws, and norms out the window for fascism. I tell ya, if Barack Obama had been the mastermind behind Jan. 6, 2021, he'd be in prison back in late 2021, AND he'd be disqualified. This is a win for White supremacy. Big time. I am so angry at the judge, so angry at the courts (the Supreme Court in particular), and just overall angry at this entire country for ignoring the signs of a fascist crusade in the making before a fascist was elected President. A fascist that encouraged political and discriminatory violence on the daily, and still does so today -- and is friggin' proud of it, reveling in it.

The psychiatrists were right. This guy exhibits all the traits of a malignant narcissist. It's always about him, and if someone doesn't like it, he puts a hit out and directs his rabid followers to hunt them down. I guess in America, being disabled, even having a general diagnosis like major depressive disorder and anxiety with tardive dyskinesia symptoms -- like myself -- means you're a threat to society and thus needs to be committed to an asylum -- like I was treated back in September in San Francisco -- unless you're an illiterate, unintelligent, violent, and hateful White nationalist with tons of illegally made money and an entire political party under your command, knowing you've scared them into submission with clueless followers ready to take up AR-15s and murder on a dime.

Guys, this has been one of the worst weeks of my life in a long while. I have to draw stares from people and be asked why I'm so "fidgety", but a base politician who attacked his own country because it didn't accept him as Divine Ruler isn't even being jailed for violating gag orders in a display of obvious malice to everyone he hates? He gets a free pass. And now the rabid dog is also getting a free pass to continue plotting to bend the whole nation to his will and exterminate anyone and everyone who is not White, heterosexual, and a right-wing conservative.

I don't know what to think of this country anymore. Yeah, we'll probably beat the punk at the ballot box again (provided he's not jailed first), but this hits me personally. The Second Amendment was twisted by politicians to mean everyone has the right to kill anyone they want, and now the 14th Amendment obviously has loopholes for treacherous presidents because of bullshit technicalities. It's a good thing the weekend is coming up, because I need time to process this injustice, an injustice dealt to ALL mentally hurting and disabled people. 😔

Shame on you, America. Shame on you.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: peaceful white noise

My God, there's so much suffering in this country right now...

To anyone here who knows somebody called "TwedeeNimbus" (as she's known here on DW) or "GanondorfMain7606" (as she's known on Comic Fury): She's hurting. She just left Oklahoma to live with her partner and his family after it recently succumbed to the GOP/MAGA Hate Virus. Now, very much like the late Joshua Alexander Moats -- a.k.a. "JM" & "Jmluvsbob" -- the toxicity of capitalism in America is robbing her of whatever love she has left for her art. Her last forum post on Comic Fury on JM's "Mental Healthish Things" was a vent that ended darkly. Out of respect for her, I won't post her vent here. But I will post what my response was:

“To my close friends here: Again, I’m breaking protocol from staying out of the forums indefinitely in returning to post after reading this.

Twedee,

This is so awful to hear. I'm feeling the same way right now, as did my late uncle (lost him to suicide 2 years ago), as did an old high school friend of mine (I saved him though) and as did JM himself. It is absolutely frustrating in this day and age how toxic capitalism has become. The SAG-AFTRA and UAW strikes were waged with this simple frustration as the impetus. I hate it as much as you do.

But your last sentence legit worries me. You "wanted" the pain to go away and you "wanted" to be happy.

Please don't do anything drastic, friend. You're one of the few people I have left that actually understands how unfair this cold world is, and apparently also what toxic parenting does to a person. If you need to talk about it, shoot me a PM. Maybe my experiences can help shed some light on how you can move forward.

Until then, PLEASE take care of yourself. Confide in your partner and his family if you have to. Please don't do anything drastic, I can't lose you too.

Nana Kumi-Amankwah, "JasonDeroga"

To everyone at CF: Comic Fury community, please give whatever support / love you can to Twedee (GanondorfMain7606) here. A lot of us are really hurting, and we just lost JM less than 2 weeks ago. We gotta look out for each other."

Dreamwitdh friends: If you know Twedee/GanondorfMain7606, please help her out. My pal Jazz Nevermore recently lamented on how America's literally Hell on Earth for many, to the point of, and I quote: "...people FUCKING TAKING THEIR OWN LIVES", while right now GOP extremist politicians are holding the government hostage (yes, Mr. Gaetz, you ARE holding the government hostage, and on purpose. Cut the gaslighting shit, asshole.) That lyric from that old 1995 Michael Jackson song sums up my sentiment perfectly at this point:

"All I wanna say is that they don't really care about US."

We lost Joshua to this unfairness. Hell, I almost lost myself to this unfairness shortly after Joshua's passing before Jazz, Matt Zimmer, and A Natural Beauty (Lady Jess on Comic Fury) were able to save me. Also, I feel compelled at this point to have to bring up this issue of toxic parenting to a local community group or something. I have witnessed firsthand from when I was 6 years old what having a malignant narcissist for a parent does to someone, and I've horror stories up the wazoo. I just saw some of the worst of it just this weekend, and I'm sick of it. I already have plans in place for eventually leaving the house but before I do, I intend to make it fully known to my toxic father (the source of all the misery, hatred, and venom contaminating what's left of this family) just how horrible he's been to us... and how pathetic he is to me, because a man of his intelligence and bravado could've easily sought out some help instead of turning his anguish into a weapon to bend everyone in this house to his will. Quite frankly, for a guy who claims to be a strong and accomplished family man, he's gotta be the weakest, most unprincipled, and most treacherous person I've had the misfortune to be born to. As of yesterday evening, he and I are now effectively strangers, NOT family.

But enough about me. Please send some love Twedee's way if you can. She needs it.

Peace and love to you all,

J.D.

Current Mood: empathetic
Current Music: peaceful white noise

Morocco just got hit by a massive earthquake, and in less than an hour, 1,300+ people are dead. I think sending love, support, and condolences to the people of Morocco right now is far more important than demonizing Covid-19 vaccines and spitefully condescending to those fighting for basic human rights across this nation in the interest of inane political power grabs. I look out for the little guy (it's literally my job as I help the disabled), and I'll go on the record and say this, especially to this nation:

Human tragedy/grief and support for the suffering should (and will) always take precedence over asinine political culture wars waged by the greedy and selfish. Humanity was not made to be controlled and oppressed by humanity. And humanity was not created for the sole purpose of mutual, senseless destruction born of hatred. We should remember this, 'cause if we don't, our planet will be lost sooner than we think.

*drops mic and struts off stage*

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: peaceful white noise

I've always been of the opinion that there really isn't such a thing as "bad art" or "bad storytelling". Yesterday as I was turning in for the night, I came across this issue among many people worldwide that I dubbed "Social Media Trauma" -- how social media can be a weapon for abusers using the computer screen to shield them while dishing out the hate, knowing the victim will never find them (they use usernames, or even worse, the "anonymous" tag). Now as one would guess, I find this kind of hounding to be an act of absolute cowardice.

This morning I stopped by Comic Fury to check out some of the recently updated comics. I saw one named PMD: Guardians of the Universe. PMD comics seem pretty popular on Comic Fury -- actually, a few of them have cemented their place on the Popular Overall sub-section on the home page. I was intrigued by the profile pic, and though I'm not really a PMD fan I was curious. Upon reading through the first few pages, I didn't expect to find a clear reminder of why I absolutely despise trolls of any kind, especially Internet trolls. But alas, here it is:

Net Troll Guest "E" Baselessly Roasts Budding PMD Comic Fury Artist -- And Gets Roasted Back Tenfold

Now when I was in elementary, I took that same approach. I poked fun at a girl singing Julie Andrews' "Wouldn't it Be Loverly". Her friends all jabbed back, asking the legitimate question: "Like you could do better?" That shut me up post haste. I was naïve at the time, like all schoolkids. But I knew when I crossed the line. The girl went on to impress a whole crowd of parents and students alike on performance day. Fast forward to adulthood, near graduation from college, when a dude I met online at a previous webcomic host read my original Lil' Hero Artists comic -- and criticized it. But he did it respectfully, and offered tips to improve. At the time, I was already working with my friend Nick Vollmer on an AU take called Lil' Hero Artists: Manga-Ized, which he soon read and really liked, saying it was a great improvement. It would've been the start of a great budding... had he not suddenly one day sent me a message that revealed him to be a prick who wasn't afraid to eviscerate an artist/author's soul to get his point across in critiquing. The last nail in the coffin was when I saw a stream of praising comments for Manga-Ized and eventually came to a comment left on a page advertising my first convention appearance and my original Lil' Hero Artists making it's sale debut. This page was updated WAY before Mr. Critic even found Manga-Ized, and so even though the comment was by "Anonymous", I was pretty sure who it really was when they said:

"You're still trying to sell that cruddy original version of this comic? This is better than that worthless pile of bull!"

Of course, it's Anonymous, so I can't say with 100% certainty that it was Mr. Critic at the keyboard. I'm just going by his previous comments and sudden descent into arrogance. But regardless, there's a saying that applies here. I was taught this saying in elementary, so it sounds infantile and "proper". But it applies even in adulthood and beyond. What is that saying, you ask? Here ya go, friends:

"If you don't have anything nice (or honest in a non-offensive way) to say, then don't say anything at all."

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII Original Soundtrack

So, I just heard that an officer who betrayed his duty to stop a gun-toting mad dog from murdering innocent prospective students at Parkland High School in Florida has been exonerated. Just like the response to the incompetent Uvalde cops who, by the way, said it was the fault of women for that massacre, further buying into the right-wing B.S. promoting misogyny. I guess it's to be expected in a country where guns have more rights than both women and children (with the exception of unborn children, which comedian George Carlin rightfully implied doesn't make one iota of sense).

To me, this is a not-so-subtle attempt to once again ignore the pervasiveness of gun violence that's raping the country so hard, the gun's shaft is literally sore from friction burn. Forgive me for being crude, but that is what I'm seeing here. Anti-abortion talk is bullshit. Abortion kills children? To these people I'd like to ask, "Okay, well what'll you do when a mass shooter kills a pregnant woman? What then? Who's/what's to blame for the unborn child's death there?"

Looks like the right really believes ignorance is bliss, as they're being spoon-fed fresh butterscotch in the shape of big bucks from the immoral and greedy NRA. They say they care about the country and the pain its citizens are suffering, but we've all heard that spiel since even before Columbine. They can say that because they know they're protected. Because they stand for gun violence instead of against it, they can pretty much rest easy as they know the pro-gun nutcases out there will guard them to keep the violence humming right along. Again, this is me speculating, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors in politics. But after seeing a GOP running presidential candidate dodge questions from a high school student about Jan.6, 2021 and change the subject to moving America forward (very badly, I might add. 'Sides, he obviously wants to move backward - hiding the country's racist history from kids is not moving forward), I think anything's a fair guess.

All I can do is complain about and hope that my vote can be the deciding factor to drop the curtain on these "pseudo-patriots", as my friend Jazz Nevermore of Comic Fury calls them. 'Cause in all honesty, they really should be forcefully robbed of their power and locked up in the darkest, ugliest, and most unsanitary prisons we have in this country so they can wither from the guilt from all the citizens they screwed. If the country has any dignity for Oaths of Office, it should be done.