jasonderoga86

The sole runner-up in the contest, Lil' Hero Artists: The Original Series, by myself and Nick Vollmer (with a cover that sported a slightly altered logo), awarded us a surprise digital publication contract -- this was not originally included of the conclusion of the contest, but I feel Alterna editor Michael S. Bracco and Editor-in-Chief/Owner Peter Simeti, who respectively compared the book to Jeff Smith's Bone and praised the tonal shading of the first chapter respectively, believed that Nick and I deserved a place with the publisher due to our ambitiousness towards the project. Also, we were prompt in finalizing the contract details before the top three winners did, apparently showing Simeti the commitment that indie publishers value in such a brutal market. The archived cover is displayed below:

• Archived page for Alterna Tales Anthology #3, featuring the cover depicting the four winners of the 2007-2008 submissions contest -- uploaded on January 1, 2008, Comic Vine

I just checked out Matt Zimmer's review of the 1996 Disney animated film, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and wanted to post a response, but I had so much to say and it surpassed the limit of characters for a response post. I think it's because of how the film neatly addresses my advancement in my job and my ongoing commitment to assisting the IDD community in my city of Oakland at a time where disabled people are being cast as disposable by a government that believes that funding for their healthcare and advancement programs/benefits is better spent on enriching old, bigoted, arrogant, and ignorant White men who believe in a jingoistic, xenophobic, and misogynistic Messiah whose name is NOT Jesus Christ. Below is my full response to Matt's review: 


✏️ First off, I’m actually listening to “The Bells of Notre Dame” right now. And you’re right; this is by far the most powerful opening number in Disney film history. Not just because of the epic scale of the choir performance with saintly words in Latin and the main vocals, but how the track actually tells a story through the music. Combined with the visuals from the opening scenes in the film, we are given a harrowing tale of innocence in the face of pious evil. As a child, I often found myself rewinding the VHS version to rewatch that opening over and over... with my favorite part being the crescendo as the film’s title card is revealed with Notre Dame’s bells in the background – David Ogden Stiers sings a note at a pitch (apparently called a high D5) that earned “The Bells of Notre Dame” a place in the annals of epic vocal performances and in particular, Disney cinema. It’s a pitch that only a few male singers can reach due to its long-sustained nature and its magical blend with background choir vocals. A masterful performance and a masterful spectacle, all packed into a summary lasting only about 6 and a half minutes. It was cool to hear the reprise at the end of the film, with the camera panning away from Paris as Stiers hits the high D5 note again before the obligatory “The End” and fade to black.

"...But you never can run from, nor hide what you've done from, the eyes... the very EYES OF NOTRE DAME!'”

-YES. That moment truly terrified me the second time around because of the context. Murdering a woman in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral with the statues’ angelic yet soul-searing glares bearing down on you will immediately strip away any pious authority you believe you have. And an Archdeacon telling (and singing to) you to be aware of that only adds to the shame, especially when his eyes also have the same soul-searing effect.

"And when Clopin asks "Who is the monster and who is the man?" it's pretty much the whole movie right there."

-Again, agreed. In fact, I think that was the very intention of the screenwriters. A riddle of sorts to prompt the viewers before the film begins, allowing them to eventually come to realize the true horror and the true innocence in the film.

"...But somebody on Twitter is like "What do you expect of a company who created an entire musical number about rape?"

THAT is too Woke. THAT is too PC. I define too Woke and too P.C. as tearing down something useful to the progressive movement because it is either distasteful, base, or course. Something like a cartoon movie musical for kids would definitely fall under that umbrella for a Too Woke person to complain about. Make no mistake: There are plenty of films in the Disney canon worthy of feminist scorn. But I will defend "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" and "Hellfire" to my dying breath. Feminists talking shit about this? You are actually unambiguously wrong."

-I wasn’t aware of any recent backlash to Hunchback, especially from feminists. But it reeks of hypocrisy in an age where misogyny and transphobia are being used in a culture war against people who rightfully oppose maintaining stereotypes meant to cement societal hierarchies across the globe. If people wanna complain about the proliferation of “rape culture” and “attacks on women”, they need to look at the governments worldwide that are actively silencing women, revoking their basic human rights, and in many cases, objectifying them and relegating them to subservience to their male partners regardless of domestic abuse or violence by those same partners.  

I told a Christian co-worker of mine about my disdain for today’s American Christianity and jagoffs like Doug Wilson (who pastors Hegseth’s Christian nationalist “church”) who talk about how women must be submissive to their male partners and deserve pain in labor because Eve’s original sin is to blame for Adam’s -- and humankind’s -- inherited sin. I was disgusted because Christianity as I remembered it in childhood was about Jesus’ message and sacrifice, and that he was brought into this world by the Virgin Mary – who is obviously a woman. If it weren’t for her, Jesus would never have come to Earth. And I told her that any person who would argue that point with me would then have to acknowledge that they not only condemn Eve, but also Mary... and their great grandmothers, their grandmothers, and their mothers. Women bring new people into this world after harboring them for 9 months and then release them through an excruciating experience that no man – certainly no machoistic Christian nationalist man – can ever know or accurately describe. In other words, people like Wilson and Hegseth would have to admit that they condemn their mothers, and their mothers before them. The fusion of hatred of women and “Christian values” to create some kind of new theocracy to replace the gospels is a pathetic attempt to humanize and comfort privileged yet insecure, lazy, and sociopathic White men who never got any love as kids (probably because they were all assholes even then).

"This movie means it drilled antirape messaging into us young too. This is a good thing. Yes, the song is upsetting, especially considering how fucking beautiful and haunting it is, and how magnificent the accompanying animation is. That's the idea, genius. You are SUPPOSED to feel that way. It's fucking EFFECTIVE, is what it is.

The idea that a pure monster like Frollo gets to wander around the studio like a harmless actor in a movie is quite upsetting to me. He is evil incarnate. In absolute fairness to that short, I didn't actually notice Frollo in the background. But my objection boiled down to the fact that he damn well could have been. Which is fucking appalling.

Tony Jay had quite a legendary career. I think Frollo wound up his pinnacle. The guy was born for voice acting and this is his best role. Frollo's character design is frightening because the studio cannily added extra lines to his face. Not just wrinkles, but the full pursed lips and hooded eyes make him one of the most expressive Disney characters of all time. He doesn't just feel creepy and frightening. He looks that way too."

-Yep. Of all the villains in the Disney franchise, Judge Claude Frollo is the most evil. Irredeemable and the incarnation of hatred, malice, and sadism. His position as Minister of Justice only further illustrates how his sense of virtuousness and religious piety was blasphemous in truth, as Clopin states in the opening number: “Judge Claude Frollo longed to purge the world of vice and sin (Kyrie Eleison/Lord have mercy) / And he saw corruption everywhere except within.” I didn’t expect to learn that statement become true until the first big child sex abuse scandals in the Vatican church which drew the ire and consternation (pun intended) of the world and caused so many to question the divinity of Catholicism if bishops and priests had been abusing kids behind closed doors. But after seeing the radicalization of certain sects of religions around the world over the years, I’m seeing the same kind of false virtuousness in many leaders who quote sacred texts and defend their faiths while defying the very tenets and teachings of those faiths to achieve material, political, or personal gain at the cost of countless lives through wars or even ethnic cleansings. Religious nationalism has been combined with Darwinism in a way that refuses world peace, and Hunchback was as much a warning of such grandiosity and madness as A Bug’s Life was a warning about the fusion of capitalism and racism. I miss the days when people openly spoke about the “morals” behind early animated Disney classics, especially Hunchback as its themes have been front and center for decades now.

"Quasimodo's design got a lot of praise at the time too, and I see why. It's everything The Beast's design was not. They forgot to make the actual Beast in "Beauty And The Beast" look ugly. And yet Quasi is so expressive you empathize and root for him regardless of how outwardly unattractive the design is. The things they do with it make it appealing which is a huge accomplishment, that "Beauty And The Beast" actually failed quite explicitly at. Which was a pretty big thing for that movie to fail at.

But the truth is a lot of Quasi's appeal is due to the soft and earnest performance of Tom Hulce. He wasn't exactly a kid in 1996, but he still sounds young, eager, and appealing. The soft crying he does as he finds Esmerelda near death, or his reaction to seeing her comfort Phoebus, the actual man she loves, is freaking heartbreaking."

-In my opinion, Quasimodo stole the show throughout the movie. Interestingly, I hadn’t known he was voiced by Tom Hulce until a few years ago; the first time I saw him was in his role as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in the film Amadeus. But his journey throughout the film from a deformed young man to a hero of Paris speaks to me personally because of the context of his journey. Quasi has a heart of gold and empathy like no other character yet was made to feel ashamed of his appearance by Frollo, the man supposedly acting as his surrogate father. The abusive relationship between Frollo and Quasi is spelled out in the first scene following the epic opening number; Frollo used Quasi’s loneliness to gaslight him into dis-acknowledging his “stone” friends to enforce his “Only I care about you” patriarchal will, then goes through the “alphabet” with Quasi – in which every letter from “A” to “B” was the first letter of a word describing the antithesis of sinlessness – until Quasi mistakenly says “F” for “festival” instead of “forgiveness”.

At that utterance, Frollo callously attempts to discourage Quasi from attending the Festival of Fools due its association with Gypsies, which he basically claims are a bunch of heathen kooks “wallowing in their own drunker stupor” and then shames Quasi for disobedience, citing that when his “heartless mother” abandoned him as an infant, it was he who saved him (even though in truth, we learned earlier that Frollo killed both Quasi’s mother and attempted to kill baby Quasi himself by dropping him into a well – leaning into the irony of Frollo’s allegation that anyone else would have drowned Quasi as a baby). From that point comes my second favorite song in the soundtrack, “Out There”, in which Frollo defines the outside world as hateful, sinful, and cruel while insisting that because he saved Quasi and raised him as his son, his protection is the only guarantee of Quasi’s safety (“The world is cruel, the world is wicked / It’s I alone that you can trust in this whole city... I am your only friend...”). Then his lecture turns into outright dehumanization, as he cites Quasi’s appearance would earn him the hatred and bloodlust of the outside world while Quasi’s background vocals symbolize the weight of this “truth” (“I am deformed, and I am ugly / you are my one defender... I am a monster, only a monster”) while again reaffirming his obedience and gratitude – I have to say, every time I hear this part of “Out There”, Hulce’s vocals are still painful to hear. It reminds me of how I was the outcast from the other schoolkids throughout most of my childhood and teenage years because of my weirdness, my “playing in my own world” with my early comic book characters (because no one would play with me), lanky build, and lack of athleticism -- I was deemed a girl instead of a boy by bullies on my first few days in middle school. It was pretty awful.

Throughout the musical number, Frollo frequently says/sings “Stay in here” to imply that hiding in the bell tower is the only way Quasi can remain safe from the vices and evils of the outside world. The worst part is how he ends his half of the song with a reminder: “Remember Quasimodo – this is your sanctuary” – not to mention that Frollo frequently smiles in a malicious, sadistic manner during his half. But then Quasi sings the other half of the song and dreams of its namesake. He ponders his safety in the bell tower while he watches the people of Paris, unconvinced that they are as savage as Frollo says they are (“Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone, gazing at the people down below me / All my life, I watch them as I hide up here alone, hungry for the histories they show me”). Despite Frollo’s warnings, Quasi expresses a desire to see the city of Paris for himself leading him to the crescendo (“All my life, I wonder how it feels to pass a day... not above them, but part of them”) while returning his wooden figure to the grounds of the city of Paris in his makeshift set of the area with other citizens. Quasi then counters Frollo’s strict lecture with his desires, frequently singing/saying “Out there”, even claiming that all he asks for is one day out in the city – that one day would be enough for him and he would return to his solitude in the bell tower.

As Quasimodo attends the Festival and is crowned the King of Fools before suffering a brutal humiliation at the hands of the citizens, that’s when I see a stark similarity to the world today. I’m nearing four years at the agency for the IDD community, and I’m dismayed at how society still refuses to look at disabled people without scorn or prejudice. I’m angry over how the disabled community – particularly the autistic community – has been increasingly scapegoated as part of an attempt to turn the ire of “normal” people towards vulnerable and harmless individuals while the scapegoaters (politicians and fringe influencers) profit and plunder from the policies written to legislate the attacks on the IDD community’s rights. And Frollo telling Quasi to stay in the bell tower because of the violent outside world sickeningly mirrors today’s society, but for different reasons; disabled people, autistic people, and people with mental illness are far more likely to be VICTIMS of violence, not the PERPETRATORS. That’s due to society’s intolerance of the “abnormal” and the rhetoric from politicians and influencers which incites such violence.

This dynamic is the basis for the epiphany I had in early May of 2024 when I spoke with board members of IDD agencies around California about the scapegoating of vulnerable disabled people, and that the only disability I see that’s actually harming and killing people is arrogance and ignorance in the minds of world leaders who can never be honest or accept fault with their own leadership and instead look for a punching bag of people to direct society’s hatred towards while their criminality goes unpunished. This epiphany has earned me even respect upon being reinstated at my job a year ago, and fuels my commitment to defending and assisting the IDD community while fighting the ongoing assault on their right to exist by a government that sees them as disposable. One of our autistic participants – whom for confidentiality reasons I will call “Mikey” -- was an amazing artist and a major advocate for the autistic community in my city, yet back in 2023 he had been accosted by cops in San Francisco one time because a bystander assumed he was a homeless person with stolen goods, which in truth were art exhibit pieces for a gallery. When the cops refused Mikey admission into the gallery building, he had an autistic breakdown which caused the cops to threaten him with arrest if he did not back away. Mikey ended up having to be taken home by his instructor, with another participant calling out the injustice of the situation. Later, as it turned out, the owner of that gallery not only came to our agency to apologize to Mikey for the ordeal, but to check our agency out and see Mikey’s new artwork. Afterwards, the gallery owner made a promise to hire instructors that would teach autism awareness so no further autistic people in San Francisco would face the humiliation that Mikey. Just like that, Mikey basically became a hero to the autistic community in Oakland. OUR hero, much like how Quasi eventually confronted and exposed Frollo’s heresy – which was choreographed with outstanding imagery when Frollo intended to kill off both Quasi and Esmeralda while manically quoting a Biblical passage (“And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!”) before losing his balance and grabbing onto a gargoyle that literally growls and comes to life before breaking off, falling into a molten pit while taking Frollo with it (an obvious visual depiction implying Frollo being sent to Hell). Power that needs a scapegoat is not power nor strength. But the scapegoated are often the ones with the battle experience and scars, who understand what it means to accomplish great things with so much less than the “powerful” have.

"The Gargoyles. Sigh. I fucking hate the Gargoyles. I have ALWAYS fucking hated the Gargoyles, and I shall always fucking hate the Gargoyles Forevermore."

While I don’t outright hate the Gargoyles, I also don’t really care for them either. It feels like they were put in to provide comic relief for kids, but even as a kid I didn’t care for them, so I guess it speaks to how useless and unnecessary they were to you as well. There were some really gross jokes by them that nauseate me just by thinking about them, so you’re definitely spot-on there. Your condemnation of the MPAA is faultless, as is your stand against the Academy/Golden Globes and its fear of progressivism in entertainment; I’ve seen so many movies with erroneous ratings I’m surprised it’s not the MPAA facing widespread criticism for exposing children to “inappropriate and questionable content” instead of creatives pitching a film before it even gets greet-lit for opening night – so many people are stupidly pointing the accusing fingers in all the wrong directions these days. 

Hey, Dreamwidth Family!

The time has finally freaking come! Got some good downtime right now, and I’ve been itching to get into the second of a series of One-Shot chapters in Matt Zimmer’s Gilda and Meek and the Universe. Today we’re diving into One-Shots No. 2, titled “Narf-Narf And Chirp” – the cat and bird duo who made their first appearance in the previous One-Shot “The Humans”. I found both characters amusing and at times adorably dense, especially Narf-Narf; the scene in the last story of Narf-Narf revealing a stockpile of assorted oral sprays to a Dog who stood guard over it had me drop my jaw in disbelief, for lack of a better word. The chemistry Narf-Narf and Chirp have with Stella Stickyfingers was also a neat dynamic, especially with how they planned out a major heist and managed to have a contingency plan when things inevitably went wrong. The story had a very “Ocean’s Eleven” feel, and also tied in nicely with the main narrative of Gilda and Meek overall.

But listen to me yammer on – the Narrator just told me to shut up, ‘cuz we’re doing this. Yes, SIR.

Gilda And Meek - UnComix One-Shots No. 2 (Un-Iverse #16): “Narf-Narf And Chirp” Review

Story One: “Narf-Narf and Chirp Attend A Book-burning - Letters by Matt Zimmer”

·        We meet our Dynamic Duo in Chirp’s treehouse, with Narf-Narf having chased off another one of Chirp’s baby-girls. Chirp is cleaning his bed of assorted insects, which makes me wonder – if there are bugs in that bed, and Chirp was just cuddling with another chickadee moments ago… man, do I feel sorry for her.

·        Okay, it seems like Narf-Narf apparently had something to do the mess in Chirp’s bed. Noted.

·        Outside the treehouse, we’re introduced to some other chums living around Chirp’s pad; two squirrels, Earl and Pearl, and their son Merle. Interestingly, Narf-Narf is the only feline that doesn’t drive this squirrel family into a terrified frenzy – but we also learn that if Narf-Narf is indeed carnivorous, he keeps it to himself. Which is a good thing, because the rest of the cast present ARE warm-blooded animals and exposing such a preferred palate would spark some, um… problems. Another secret he’s keeping from his friends here is his sociopathic nature, which would create even more, um… problems. But given that he hasn’t disclosed these rather unsettling traits, Narf-Narf has the trust of Chirp and the squirrel family, so it’s all good in the hood, y’all.

·        The squirrel family is getting ready to attend a book-burning hosted by none other than the Rev. Vic Puff. Chirp ponders why a squirrel would bother to view such a thing, and… oh my God… Narf-Narf may be crazy, but he’s straight up REAL on why a squirrel would want to attend a book burning by a zealous White Evangelical Christian who obviously stole his way into a Reverend position – you gotta be nuts to willingly watch such a desecration of knowledge in the name of fundamentalism. I friggin’ LOVE the intended pun here. Nonetheless, our cat & bird duo decides they’ll check out the event.

·        The scene switches to the Rev. Vic Puff: the self-proclaimed White Evangelical, the Conduit himself. And he’s got a rather telling mantra: “It is not a sin if you don’t get caught.” I wonder how many real-life ministers and preachers mentioned that to themselves to fool their psyche into thinking it’s “doing God’s work” to take in billions of dollars without paying any taxes (learned that from the late great George Carlin) and/or use the sanctity of a church to abuse children behind closed doors? I know there are some big names in that gallery of infamy, it’s just that a name escapes me at the moment…

·        We are given a clear view of Puff’s unceremonious Incendie de Livres at the start of his “Cavalcade of Demagoguery”. Chirp and Narf-Narf are in the nosebleed section of the otherwise zealous crowd, as is the Squirrel family. The Narrator makes a rather hilarious point about the absence of the Gilda and Meek cast in the crowd, as they would dilute the suckery of the UnComix One-Shots, and that suckery shall not be infringed. As he so often tells us, “Shut up. We’re doing this.” And as I keep saying, I’m loving this.

·        Among the crowd, we see several cultists wildly waving signs and showing off merchandise (there’s even a Klansman in attendance – who’d have thought…), most of which show support for Ted Nugent’s 2016 presidential campaign. Wow. This crowd is backing a guy who called Dianne Feinstein a “worthless whore” to “ride” a gun as he’s assault weapons/2A fanatic, as well as a loose cannon so tribalistic that the Secret Service had to admonish him for a clear death threat against Barack Obama – whom he refused to stop calling an “evil subhuman mongrel”. Yeah. Narf-Narf ain’t the one with loose screws in his head at this heretical gathering. Not by a LONG shot.

·        Vic Puff begins his sermon of Nazism, branding the “Godless”, the faithless, the liberals, and most of all, the kind. Yeah, you heard him: the kind. And this is one of the reasons I love Gilda and Meek and the Un-Iverse and these One-Shots: they make me think. They help me deconstruct what look like complex issues into simple, common-sense views. And Matt Zimmer is a soul who does is not politically active on actual political grounds, per se. He is a Partisan Democrat for a perfectly logical and relatable reason: he believes that people should simply be kind to each other. Just imagine how much progress we could make as a society if we weren’t always at each other’s throats thirsting for blood while soulless and arrogant elites profit from our misguided warring amongst ourselves.

·        Puff gives his best impression of Ron DeSantis’s presidential campaign with “War on Woke” preaching points, lauding Christian nationalism ideology while condemning books like Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, then mentioning Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 and then… Judy Blume’s Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret. I’ve read a lot of Judy Blume’s books in elementary school and early middle school, but I must confess I’ve never read Are You There, God? It’s Me Margaret. I remember reading that it was one of most well-known entries on banned book lists, so I see the significance to this story. 

·        Next, Rev. Puff adds the tomes to an even larger pile of other “blasphemous” books from the likes of John Steinbeck (likely because Steinbeck would call bullshit on the wars that Christian nationalists are so obsessed with triggering. War is a symptom of mankind’s failure to act as thinking creatures, after all) and Stephen Hawking (because it’s always easier to attack wheelchair-bound prodigies with speech communication devices than to forcefully chastise an ultra-rich hack minister with a known track record of promoting deadly violence against harmless people like the LGBTQ+ community). The Narrator notes how this heretical congregation is so devoted to burning “wokeism” that they’re too stupid to realize they’re FUNDING that wokeism; the authors of these books can only laugh at these dunces as they count the profits from those sales. Also, I often wonder: if Red States are so fanatical about banning books, how can they also hold people like Jeff Bezos in such high regard? I mean, to borrow a talking point from many kids in those states, what good is banning books when those kids can just buy those same books from Amazon, which is, you know… OWNED by Bezos? Yep, I’m with the Narrator on this one – right-wing Republicans ARE idiots.

·        The Rev. does his own impression of Judge Claude Frollo from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame by speaking in Scripture terms as he prepares to arouse the inferno upon the mountain of tomes, displaying a sort of sadistic pleasure only the farthest of the Christian right would appreciate. Interestingly, Narf-Narf is equally aroused by the Flames of Hell. The Narrator goes into full detail to describe the satisfaction of pure destruction, without logic or reason. It’s a damn spot-on spectacle that aptly sums up the Christian nationalism that has hijacked America, a succinct visual message that explains how this radicalism does not seek to unite, does not seek to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ, does not seek to serve as a beacon founded on the principles of the Sermon on the Mount. The goal of Christian nationalism, especially in America, is first and foremost the destruction of everything the Religious Right denounces as sinful and evil – namely, everything that is not White, cis-gender male, and Christian nationalist. And The Narrator delivers that in just a few sentences; why can’t it be this simple to denounce zealots in real life?

·        And as if God himself had had enough of the bastardization of His son’s way of life, the embers of the inferno latch onto Rev. Vic’s hairpiece – ‘cuz, as we all know, he’s actually bald – which he then ignites on his shirt sleeve and then his entire form. Yep, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away… and He’s taking away the misconstrued glory a false prophet had basked in for their own satisfaction. As my mom once said in a talk with the mother of a friend of my brother’s long ago, “God don’t sleep”.

·        Rev. Vic’s predicament is further explained as Chirp mentions his gutting of the budget for the Fire Department. See, cutting vital services in pursuit of a Christian government CAN hurt people of ALL political parties! A lesson that modern-day America is being forced to learn at the moment… *shifts eyes around*

·        Rev. Vic is saved by his followers, who put out the Flames of Hell in an manner that’s paradoxically hellish in its own right while giving Vic the most disturbing sense of satisfaction that would get any other priest excommunicated from their congregation were it made public. Meanwhile, Chirp notices the Observer from “Fringe” donning his hat and grabbing his briefcase as Narf-Narf declares himself one bored cat. Chirp soon follows suit, both animal buddies acknowledging they wasted a good chunk of their lives that they certainly won’t be getting back. But Vic is one happy cult leader despite the many first-degree burns he’ll be nursing for a time nearly comparable to the afterlife he foolishly thinks he’s entitled to for this deed of Christian nationalism, looking into the heavens and apparently feeling like God has already welcomed him home. The Narrator ends the story on a disgusted note, and I gotta say I’ve never seen a right-wing Christian THIS masochistic. But again, I’m seeing a lot of ‘em today who are steering down that road…

Story Number Two: Meek And Bernadette “Money Well Spent”. Numbers by Matt Zimmer 

·        One day at the Robinson residence, we see Meek and Bernadette during some down time. Out of the blue, Meek asks her who’d be the last one standing between him and Superman. Bernadette, who’s immersed in a copy of The Good Book, promptly favors Kal-El over Meek with the most casual, matter-of-fact expression I’ve seen in quite a while.

·        Meek then poses the same query again and again, but against a slew of other fictional pop-culture powerhouses including Batman, Spider-Man, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Xena: Warrior Princess. By the time Meek brings up Kermit the Frog, Bernadette gives him that look – the look of someone who is clearly annoyed and barely restraining themselves. And Bernadette follows that up with a statement telling Meek that it’d be wise to kill this conversation now while it’s only in the “annoying” stage.

·        Meek, however, demands an answer to his contest. Bernadette’s bet is on Kermit. Meek, clearly seeing he’s outmatched by pop-culture icons, challenges Bernadette with Elmo – which I would personally say is a bridge too far – and Bernadette responds with what could only constitute a literal threat from Elmo to Meek. But boy, the aspiring warrior here is not someone who concedes easily…

·        Meek’s next hypothetical challengers are Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear, an inanimate carbon rod, and Mary-Kate and Ashley circa Full House. Bernadette’s responses to each are deadpan shutdowns, but when Meek mentions ex-Fox News pundit Geraldo Rivera, she suddenly declares him the victor. Meek takes that response as a rush from the most potent energy drink one can imagine and sets off to deck Geraldo a good one with gusto… hey, I guess if I’d been shutdown by all those other contenders, ANY victory would suffice. Meek is ready to go, ready to end Rivera’s career once and for all, confident smile and tough-guy sleeve-rolling to boot! There’s gonna be some serious hell to pay—

·        And Bernadette ends Meek’s bravado by stating the obvious: he can’t just go looking for Geraldo Rivera just to beat the hell out of him, as that would constitute a crime. And Meek’s bravado disappears right then and there, knowing he can’t debate with that logic. Deflated and defeated, Meek resigns to the couch… just as The Piranha skips by, singing the most common fair-use lofty song in existence. Now Meek is the annoyed one and asks Bernadette if he could take on and beat Pirahna. Bernadette again states Meek has all the spades in that fight. Meek wants assurance, and Bernadette responds not just with affirmation, and encouragement – she’s saying, “Go get ‘im, Pops! Papa gonna knock him OUT!”

·        Meek still feels somewhat unsure, but Bernadette guarantees this is a win-win fight with one helluvan encouraging smirk. With gratitude, Meek ambushes Piranha and does his best impression of Will Smith’s Agent Jay from “Men in Black” as he taunts Pirahna. And I gotta admit, with that scene from the film playing in the back of my head and reading this scene with Meek channeling Will Smith-esque bravado, I am laughing inside at the hilarity. Meek just up and tore after Piranha with just the slightest of provocation. This is gonna be good…

·        And my God, how the fight ends… I gotta take a minute and laugh this out before I can keep writing… hold on, hold up…

·        …ahem. *exhales deeply* Okay, where was I? Oh, right – the Piranha absolutely DESTROYED Meek. Don’t screw with the Fish, playa. Bernadette then displays some of the craftiest logic I’ve seen yet: first, she asks Meek what he learned from the melee, and Meek answers correctly that she owes him six bucks – she bet six bucks that Meek would win in a fistfight with Piranha, which set him off against the lil’ fish to begin with. But before he took off, Meek said in wonder: “Your logic is impeccable.” And indeed, it is; as Meek proceeds to head to the nearest convenience store to buy some chips, soda, and a “moderately priced” comic book (but likely less than they are at your average comic book shop today… $5 for a 32-page magazine with 12 of those pages being advertisements? Is it ANY wonder almost everyone only buys trades now?), Bernadette returns to her Scripture in peace, content that those six bucks were worth it while Meek’s grunts of pain fade out. Once again, the obvious is clear: Bernadette may be a cute, innocent, and conservative Christian lil’ girl by appearance, but she is one crafty and clever kid with the kind of snark that could petrify the conservative talking heads of today. Heh… now ain’t that a shame?   

Story Number Three: The Humans “Clowns Are Scary” Shapes and Sizes by Matt Zimmer

·        Our Narrator friend starts off this story with an invocation of the now-deceased “soul-devouring war criminal” Dick Cheney. Due to recent news of Cheney’s interment, I guess that second heart transplanted into him turned out to be incompatible with his systems; the only thing sadder than wondering whose heart was buried into Cheney to prolong his life is the reminder of Molly Ivins having died earlier than him. We can make of that what we will, and turn to the main story.

·        We meet The Humans as they trot by a “Help Needed” style sign; a nearby carnival needs trapeze artists, and the Humans are penniless from their earlier search for their “brother” Link (a testament to the extent of these four’s lack of intuition on fact and fiction). As the Humans are primates, the idea of trapeze performances doesn’t seem too bad…

·        Waltzing into the carnival’s main area, the Humans are starstruck at the fellas before them; a rather odd-looking Learned Republican, a confident-looking and striking Bearded Hairless Cat, and a rather curious-looking Two-Headed Fish. They are the first main attractions of a Freak Show, and the nearby Ringmaster states that of all the “freaks” present the Learned Republican is quite literally a rare treasure of such. I’m intrigued by the title “Learned” Republican… my first guess is that this fellow was once a neutral-minded citizen with no political affiliation, who somehow got swept up into conservative viewpoints; hell, if social media exists at this in the Un-Iverse, then I’d wager this Learner was snared by far right-wing algorithms and advertisements. Either way, this guy does intrigue me, albeit with caution…

·        The Humans meet up with the Ringmaster, who looks a bit like both Luigi from the Super Mario Bros. franchise and Barney Rubble from The Flintstones. And boy, he is thrilled to see four new applicants for the position of trapeze performers. But he warns that this role is not for the faint of heart – the Flying Graysons previously held this job, only to one day meet a terrible fate. That fateful day led a young acrobat down the path of eventually becoming a sidekick to a man who can only be described as “Vengeance” and “The Night”. But that’s the DC Comics universe; we’re in the Un-Iverse, and if the Ringmaster says that the less we speak about the Flying Graysons, the better, we’ll leave it at that.

·        The Humans perform their training course flawlessly and are given the job. The Learned Republican suddenly peeks in and randomly asserts that he can literally recite the entire Bible, to which the Ringmaster promptly snaps and demands the spectacled biblical scholar to clam up. So now, it’s clear that the L.R. is a pure conservative – being able to recite the entire Bible leads me to believe this guy is a Bonafide Evangelical Christian Republican. My earlier caution was necessary after all, it seems.

·        The Humans witness a trio of scary Clowns deep in a poker game with their ghastly features illuminated by the campfire nearby, with two of them musing over the money they procured from some freaks while also jeering that the freaks would’ve wasted that cash on trivial things in town. Yep, sounds pretty scary-Clowny to me, ghastly illuminated faces aside.

·        The Bearded Hairless Cat warns the Humans about the gravity of the task ahead, accentuating his mystique by emphasizing the risk involved. The Learned Republican tries to add his two cents but is promptly silenced by the annoyed fish he’s carrying. The ruckus catches the attention of the Clowns, who immediately confront the group. While the Learned Republican and the two lil’ fish take the hint and silence themselves, the Bearded Hairless Cat attempts some cordiality by complimenting on the bright, trademark red of their noses. The Humans seize that opportunity and try to score those noses, leading to a short brawl between the four determined boys and the far superior Clowns. In fact, it was so short that within moments the Humans are cast into the tents, setting off a chain of flames ready to consume the tents!

·        At the same time, the Ringmaster appears and demands to know what’s going down. Only seconds later, the freaks join the brawl with the Clowns while both sides ignore the spread of the flames as they devour the circus tents. Surprisingly, Davy is wise enough to mount an elephant to douse some of the blaze with her trunk at full pressure, but the Ringmaster’s focus is on the melee that transpired between the freaks and the Clowns. They truthfully explain that the Humans started the conflict, but the Ringmaster understands that reparations will take precedence… that will cost the entirety of their savings. As the Narrator concludes, they aren’t ruined… but it looks like they’ll be back to square one once all is said and done. Of course, that will include the Humans as they DID start the whole ordeal. The Ringmaster demands they pay up for their actions…

·        … and receives the payment in the form of a banana and a large mound of monkey scat. Naturally, the Ringmaster goes into a rage (and will probably blow a few blood vessels too, given the incredulous gesture of that payment) as the Humans hightail it off the premises. The freaks steal back their cash from the unsuspecting Clowns while the Bearded Hairless Cat muses on taking a liking to the Humans. The Learned Republicans attempts to end the episode on a rather thoughtful note by invoking George Will but is promptly silenced by everyone… including the Bearded Hairless Cat. Man, this guy got burned SO bad.

·        We’re treated to a brief intermission, with Meek happening by an advertisement for “Flood Beer”, which is billed as something that Granny drinks. Hilariously, Meek is unmoved by the hook, which conveys that the product’s greatness is proved by its horrible PR. Why a company would trash its own sales hook as proof of how good the product is, well…

Story Number Four: Howler “Bad Moon Rising, Part Two: A Brief History of Werewolves” One Of These Things Is Not Like Matt Zimmer

·     Ah, yes – the second part of the Howler story. Part One ended on one helluva cliffhanger as Howler assumed a terrifying werewolf form, and FBI agent Phil Douglass was left with no other choice but to fire on him after the former tried to warn Douglass. Phil is naturally in a state of shock as the reality of the situation sets in, wherein the Narrator emphasizes the gravity of the moment by noting Howler becoming a werewolf did not excuse shooting him. It’s a harsh statement but rooted in a moral sense; maybe a taser to subdue Howler would’ve sufficed so he’d just be unconscious. But the deed is done, and Phil will have to live with it. Moving along…

·     BUT, given that Howler was shot in the shoulder, he returns to normal and thanks Agent Douglass. Agent Douglass – and me as well – stand in shock at what just took place. Howler reveals the truth: pain is the antidote to werewolf outbursts. I may not know anything about werewolf stories/urban legends, but I’ll take what I can get. It isn’t long before a nurse hurries in wondering what went down, but Howler quickly defuses her confusion with a simple explanation of an accidental discharge of his weapon and a quick apology to anyone who was terrified. The Nurse doesn’t take it well at all, as she wasn’t just terrified – she almost suffered a heart attack. Yeah, Howler… not the most comforting thing you could’ve said, especially given that you’re in a hospital…

·     Agent Douglass comes to grips with the fact that Howler is in fact a Werewolf and not a Dog, with Howler acknowledging what befell of Douglass’s previous partner and apologizing for it. Howler also tries to dissipate the stereotype about werewolves, claiming that not all werewolves are violent savages and some of them are just trying to get by, to which Agent Douglass is appreciative. I like Howler’s point of view here; judging an entire group of people by the wrong actions of just one of that group is stereotyping (and potentially scapegoating) at its core. It discourages keeping an open mind and leans into tribalism.

·     Howler’s wound cauterizes itself, much to Agent Douglass’s surprise. The former further explains how the werewolf healing factor works, adding that a full moon speeds up the process. The pain still lingers, but the bleeding has stopped. At that time, Howler notices a janitor nearby hard at work mopping the floor… and senses the guy’s been eavesdropping on the whole conversation. As Agent Douglass signs Howler’s discharge papers, the Janitor makes his way down the hall; he’s got an important phone call to make. Howler’s true identity as a Werewolf is no longer a secret for sure, and the Narrator is quite right: weirdness abounds.

·     Agent Ryan and Mitch, hiding among the mists of shadow, receive word from the janitor mole at the hospital confirming Howler revealing his identity to Agent Douglass. Both are aware of the urgency of the operation, and Agent Ryan insists it time to put the Werewolf down permanently. Mitch, however, counter-insists that such hastiness would only martyrize Howler to his Tribe and risk a frightening escalation. He remains committed to using him for leverage. Personally, I give Mitch credit for not jumping to conclusions. An operation of this magnitude requires a steady hand and calm, cool planning.

·     Later that evening, Agent Douglass is treated to dinner at Howler’s residence with the latter’s wife Audrey. He asks Howler what would happen if the hospital were to expose his secret to the FBI, to which the lupine responds bluntly that he’d be shown the door… on his first day, at that. Damn. Can’t kill a mic any faster than that. Agent Douglass fields another inquiry about the two kinds of Werewolves Howler mentioned earlier, and the lupine gives an incredibly detailed rundown: First there are the Borns, the most common form of Werewolf, and then there are the Infecteds, victims bitten by Werewolves that assume Werewolf form. For centuries, Borns like Howler and Audrey here learned to control their transformations through pain on the full moon; thus, they’ve mastered their restraint and ceased infecting people. Pretty cool, if you ask me. There’s something about werewolves mastering the suppression of their feral instincts that just says, “Wolves’ honor, bruh.”

·     But there is always the twist, and Howler’s tone turns uncomfortably serious as he states how Mistress Augatha came to desire an army of Werewolves after Borns officially went cold turkey on infecting people. Agent Douglass suddenly realizes scat just got real, as he remembers having looked up the Mistress’s FBI file and learned exactly what his partner just described. Augatha is preparing for a global takeover, and an army of Werewolves will provide a HELLUVA strike guard to facilitate it. Howler ups the urgency of the proposition, detailing Augatha’s aggressive strategy of sending Infecteds to infect countless victims to amass the Werewolves she requires, with her promise of a cure once her conquest is complete. Dismissing the idea that the Mistress was sincere about the cure, Howler states something FAR more consequential; he believes Douglass’s partner was preyed on by an Infected. Okay, now I’m a little worried…

·     His eyes locked on Agent Douglass, Howler suggests that by that logic Douglass’s partner is in fact alive and serving as an Infected for Augatha. Agent Douglass begins to unintentionally channel a Luke-Skywalker-denies-Darth-Vader’s-his-father vibe, refusing to entertain that his former partner would do such a thing. Howler, in response, not only doubles down but plays an eerie variation of the “Search your feelings” play by ending with a new spin: “No, Phil. It’s likely true… because WE work for Augatha.”

·     And as one would imagine, Douglass’s response to this revelation is about on par with Luke Skywalker’s “NOOOOOO! Noooooowwuuooo…”

·     Officially dropping the Star Wars fanfic narrative, Howler gets to business: In the 1980’s (Whoa, 1980’s? Born in 1986 on Halloween, yea-yea-yeah!) the U.S. government made a secret pact with the Mistress to relinquish all governmental control to her once she claims the world as Queen. Even more troubling, our – sorry, THE – government is willing to aid Augatha to make this dystopia a reality! Douglass asks the question on everyone’s mind: why would the government betray us to a rising despot? Howler regrettably does not know, and given that his career with the FBI is basically over (and on his first day! That part just… yikes, man!) he never will. Man, the curveballs keep coming, fast and BRUTAL.

·     Unwilling to be complicit to seditious conspiracy by the government, Agent Douglass swears to Howler that he will snoop around the FBI headquarters for the info Howler sought, but Howler sternly informs Douglass not to be overconfident; should Douglass fail or depending on what he does procure, there will be a price to pay, ranging from termination (pretty mild) to imprisonment in an off-the-books prison on espionage conviction (BRUTAL!)

·     Undeterred by the risks, Agent Douglass insists on taking the mission – if his government is okay with enabling Augatha rise to the throne, it’s a government he wants no part of. After all, he knows the truth: Mistress Augatha is widely feared for a damn good reason, and to help her would mean to betray basic morality and humanity. Audrey is genuinely touched and sees Douglass as a true friend, with Howler adding emphasis that his partner is the first non-Werewolf friend he’s ever had. And you know? Despite the daunting outlook of the stakes, this little moment right here eases my mind. Where there is bad, there is also good; one can’t exist without the other, where there’s a foreboding “what-if?”, there’s also the positive “what-if?” And above all, I’m hearing Gilda’s voice once more with her signature quote: Once you know a Future is Coming, You Can Change It. Guys and ladies, I’m feeling that mic-drop moment here.

·     As Agent Douglass takes a moment to appreciate the honor, both Howler and Audrey sense a group of Werewolves in the backyard. The married lupine couple immediately take their shoes off (Howler and Audrey wear shoes laced with tacks to halt their transformations under the full moon, so in this case… smart move, dawgs) while telling Douglass to make himself scarce. Seconds later, Werewolves burst through the wall with more bravado than the Kool-Aid Man ever had – and without joking up the moment with an inane “Oh, Yeaahhh!” – and immediately snatch Audrey. Agent Douglass ends up seeing stars with one hammer-punch to the jaw, and the Werewolves immediately jam Pain Darts in both Howler and Audrey, rendering their transformation halted – aw, MAN… I hope I’m wrong about this seems to be leading…

·     The Werewolves drag Howler to his own basement and lock/blockade the door. They seize the mortified Audrey and patch themselves through a communicator; while one of them gives a victorious howl, the other informs their contact that they’ve got the leverage – the very leverage that Mitch was referring. Yep, shit got real FAST. This UnComix One-Shot ends with a cliffhanger, as a seriously enraged Howler howls and attempts to break the basement door down to save his beloved while Agent Douglass lies out cold… talk about a successful seize-and-capture operation. Oy, vey… I admit I’m kind of in a state of shock at the sheer flawless execution here. But the next One-Shot might ease some of the “stunned breathless” feels I have right now, as we’re hooking back up with the persistent inquirer of screws and light bulbs, The Piranha! Yeeaaahhh!

First, I want to say that finishing up this One-Shot was a challenge… and not because I didn’t enjoy what I read. Come this March, I will have reached four years at my job at the IDD assistance program. Combined with my tenure at my first job as a courtesy clerk at the local grocery store from 2007 – 2011, that will mark eight years of service work for me. It’s really surreal, as many times I never thought I would make it this far. The trials of both 2024 – a year of pain, immense grief, and heartbreak from the loss of five people I cared about, with my best friend Steven’s ultimate sacrifice for us on Christmas after he did his civic duty as a poll worker during the 2024 election – and 2025 – a year-long personal grapple with the unprecedented lawlessness unleashed on even my own community, family, and friends by the “re-elected” sociopathic sadist enabled by the very institutions that were constitutionally mandated to bar him from office – were an extreme test of my resilience. And though I’ve come out relatively okay, I won’t sugarcoat it: I’m also exhausted, as is my family, friends, community, our participants at work, and our circle here on Dreamwidth. But that isn’t exactly cynicism; it’s how the human body reacts under an onslaught of trauma and a constant hammering of defeatism from every outlet that traded actually “informing” people to propagandizing and fueling learned helplessness. Matt Zimmer recently brought up Mister Rogers and his advice in an era of rampant doomerism-peddling from the news: “Look to the helpers.”

The people of Minnesota helping one another and defending one another from a modernized KKK dressed like shock troops that coldly killed two American citizens that the state later slandered as domestic terrorism. The people of Los Angeles, in my state of California, driving back National Guard shock troops and exposing the lie about state-sanctioned terrorism masquerading as “federal enforcement”. The spiritual leaders who refuse to give themselves over to Jesus-hating, red-cap-wearing cultists with crosses and Trump Bibles thirsting for a “Christian nation” when my Sunday School teacher preached that “God’s Kingdom is not of this Earth.” And even myself – after all, my life mission is mainly built on service. The service I provide for our disabled community weekly, Monday to Friday. The service that has know netted me two promotions – one in 2023, the other in March 2025. The same service and training that aided me with helping up my epileptic former coworker at my old grocery job who suddenly fell to the ground while other customers just walked on by.

“Look to the helpers.”

And along with this self-reflection, I looked at a birthday card that my younger brother got me for last year’s Halloween. It was a simple card with some pop-out smiling sushi roll characters, saying “Let the good times roll.” But inside is where the real message was:

“Keep moving forward and building for the future! …. Happy Birthday!”

Those are the marching orders I just gave myself today. And completing this UnComix One-Shot was a big part of cheering me up. So, to Matt Zimmer, I’ll say once more: Gilda and Meek and the Un-Iverse is a comic series so unlike any that I’ve ever read. Thank you.

Gonna get some rest for now before I journey back to chill with The Piranha again, so until then, peace and love to you all!

Nana